It's My Fault
by Twirl
Summary: Murray feels guilty when Bentley's put in a wheelchair during the Clockla affair. Murray's POV. First person. One shot.


It was my fault.

He was my second best friend. Was this how I repaid his friendship? By putting him in... that chair?

I get worked up even looking at him now. Me. "The Murray".

I put him in that wheelchair. I did it. It's my fault.

Sure, the guys tell me it's not. I'm not to blame. Bentley keeps telling me that. Sly too, but Bentley... He won't even let me help him around out current safe house. I know he won't let Sly help either... But that doesn't help. If only he'd let me... No. It's better that he won't let me help him get used to the wheelchair. I might break him further.

Stupid Neyla.

Bentley told me that if it was anyones fault, it was hers. But my little buddy won't even blame her! Fully, I mean...

I know. "The Murray" isn't as smart as Bentley or Sly. But... That's no reason not to blame someone. Someone was at fault here. It was me. It was almost maddening that Bentley wouldn't blame me. Aloud, anyway. That would make this easier. I just... I just wanted to hurt him. Make him see. Shake him into realizing that I, Murray, was the reason that he was par-para... the way he was.

But everytime I thought like that, there he'd be. All... weak and struggling in that cursed chair. And still, he won't let me help.

When he first sat in it--more correctly, I sat him gently in it-- I could see. His face. His eyes. He was sad. He knew. My little buddy knew this was it. He'd never walk again. "The Murray's" heart was broken into a thousand pieces, like the spines he'd crunched.

Spines...

There was a lot of mumbo-jumbo that the guys understood, but I didn't. Something about part of Bentley's spine crushed. Or something to do with his spine. I don't know, and that's the most painful.

I have to leave. Before...

I keep thinking back. Clock-la was down, but alive. Bentley had said something about a hate-chip. I don't understand and I still don't. But Bentley, the Brains, had told me to open her mouth.

So I did.

"The Murray" had opened the clockwork owl's mouth, then moved aside. I should have held it open... When Benttley climbed inside, Clock-la's jaws shut. Crushing him. My friend and pal.

I couldn't move fast enough. Maybe if I had been faster reopening her jaws, the damage wouldn't have been permanent. I keep thinking... Clock-la hated us. She must have known she was beaten. It was an act of revenge. It must have been. Bentley was the closest thing she could...

I should leave.

Just leave. Go out on my own. We'd never been seperated, until the Contessa, and we each got a taste of... I don't know. But Bentley, the genius he is, got me and Sly out of there.

I doubt he'd be able to do that now...

I don't know why I think like that now. I'm just... I feel so...

Guilty.

It's crawling through me. Like it's alive. Guilt. I've never felt like this before. Everytime I... I just... I...

I'm leaving. Tommorrrow. I can't look at him without... And Sly... I...

I'm just so confused!

I'm leaving.

I'll tell them. I'm going away. Why? Oh... I can't tell them I have to leave because everytime I look at Bentley and that chair I, "The Murray" feel like crying and begging forgiveness.

No... I'll... I'll say I'm going on a quest to find myself. Yeah. That sounds intelligent. Yeah. I'll leave tommorrow.

The guys'll try and stop me. But no one can stop "The Murray".

I've seen Bentley. He's somehow able to get out of his chair, and either sit under it, or beside it. He has his tools with him. He's tinkering. He's really a genius. He said something about filling his chair with theiving technology. I asked Sly about it when Bentley wasn't in the room, and Sly says he figures it helps Bentley adjust. When I see him, tinkering, it's just like old times...

Old times...

Bentley said he's still going out in the field. I don't dare object. Sly... Well, Sly's the leader. He knows best.

But even if Sly does know best, I'm still leaving. I... I have to.

I'm going. I'm leaving the guys to find myself.

I'm so sorry Bentley.

It's all my fault.

* * *

**Sadly, I don't own Sly Cooper. Also, I wanted to note that this story didn't start off as first person. It just... ended up that way. **


End file.
